Self-care: What's the Big Fuss? Who's Got Time For That?

by Tracy Narins Welchoff, Ph.D.

​A luxurious bubble bath, scented candles, soft music, a perfect cup of tea… sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?  Although fabulous when you can engage in this kind of self-care, this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to treating yourself in ways that lead to a happier, healthier, more productive and meaningful life.  Although the above scenario (or your personal version of relaxing) is where the mind often goes when considering self-care, there are actually many different, and equally important, ways to take control of your well-being.  When life is overwhelming, it can help tremendously to slow down and ask yourself what kind of self-care you have been neglecting.  Here is a quick rundown of the different categories of self-care that you might consider:

1. Physical: How can you take better care of your body?  Is there something you can do to promote better sleep, nutrition, or activity?  Schedule an overdue doctor’s appointment, get a massage, or remember to put on sunscreen? 
2.  Emotional: Take notice of what emotions you have been experiencing lately… Would it help to express yourself with  journaling, art, poetry, or listening to (or making) music?  Do you need to acknowledge your emotions without all that self-judgement, putting on a cheerful façade, or conversely wallowing?  Is there something you need to express, someone you want to bounce something off of or seek support from?  Learning to mindfully acknowledge emotions without judgment and with the recognition that emotions are temporary might be just what you need.
3.  Social: What have your social connections been like lately?  Do you feel lonely and disconnected, or are you overwhelmed by social obligations?  How are you doing with balancing people-time with time alone to unwind.  Whether an introvert or an extrovert, everyone needs social contact as well as solitude (although in differing amounts).  Do you need to reach out and make plans with a friend, call someone who makes you laugh, text a friend just to say hi, or organize a party?  Do you need to decline some social events and carve out time alone to read, create, relax, or just be alone with your thoughts?  Before reflexively agreeing to. (or cancelling) plans, take a moment to ask yourself what you need for your own well-being.
4.  Practical: Sometimes self-care involves following routines that you know work to keep your life running smoothly.  Do you need to clean out your closet?  Make a to-do list, pull out that neglected planner you bought, or re-negotiate some shared responsibilities?  Start packing lunch the night before?  What is that one thing you can take care of that will help you feel more on top of things?  Just get it done and off your mind.
5.  Spiritual: Are you engaging in activities that nurture your spiritual side?  Whether this includes formal religious practices, a mindfulness or meditation routine, or writing in a gratitude journal, tending to your more spiritual side promote a sense of wellness and perspective.  How you chose to do that can be formal or informal, public or private, routine or spontaneous… what matters is that you regularly check in with yourself to make sure your spiritual self is not being neglected. 
6.  Intellectual:  Are you feeling intellectually stimulated, bored, or neglected?  Sometimes, the daily grind promotes a “going through the motions” feeling that leaves you feeling mentally “dull”.  When was the last time you read a book, did a puzzle, or learned a new skill?  Maybe it’s time to stop living out of habit and get involved in something interesting.
7. Creative:  What kinds of things get your creative juices flowing?  Do you enjoy painting, poetry, or building things?  Maybe you like going to the theater or exploring museums.  How about taking pictures?  (It’s so easy now with such high-quality cameras on phones.)  You can stimulate your creativity with journaling, sketching, or even daydreaming.  Crafts?  Cooking?  The possibilities are endless!

​But it feels so selfish!
 
Getting past this feeling is so important… allowing yourself to regularly engage in activities that promote wellness can boost your mood, support good health, enhance productivity, and put you in the best possible position to contribute to the wellness of others.  You are worth it!